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As far as explicit connections: ...perhaps I was looking for that "Personal Jesus" that the Baptists advertise. You know that clearly separate voice in your head where you are sure you are talking to a Deity. (I was heading down that road in 1985, you know, building a personal relationship with Jesus. When I began to suspect I was training myself to talk to myself, essentially overwhelming my conscience, which is real and does exist, with an artificial construct, I pulled out of that paradigm (while my jury is still deliberating on whether God exists, Ive remained very wary about doing the Personal Jesus thing, because if it fails a second time I would have to conclude that there is no personal relationship with God. I much prefer an aloof low-level relationship (say with "my conscience") that stays real and doesnt risk that ultimate disillusionment. |
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